I am suffering from Mince Pie Mouth. Yesterday, I put a mince pie in the microwave for about 30 seconds and made the classic mistake of biting right into the pie and burning the roof of my mouth on the molten lava inside. Not content with doing it once yesterday, I decided I would do it again today, silly eh?
Beware the mince pies.
Tags: Mince pies
December 18, 2007 at 7:51 pm |
Your mouth is the fastest place in your body to heal, apparently. That’s what my mum told me when I was little. ‘Och be quiet, it’s the fastest place in your body to heal.’ Everything my mum said after we’d fallen off our bikes/bit our tongues/broken our arms etc. was prefixed by ‘Och, be quiet.’
It might not even be true cos a lot of the things she said were also lies. e.g ‘The heat of your body will iron it out’ before sending us to school in unironed clothes. Hmm.
December 18, 2007 at 8:00 pm |
I think your mum is right, not just because she’s your mum but, when you think about it, your mouth does heal really quickly. A scab on your knee takes about a month to fall off but burnt bits in your mouth fall off in a couple of days giving you lovely wee bits of skin to chew when you’re bored. Go Leonas maw!
December 18, 2007 at 11:09 pm |
sounds like a similar ailment to “breville-lip”, when you know the cheese in a toastie has gone nuclear, but the greediness in you just makes you batter in and bite it anyway, ending up with a bit of cheese-lava sticking to your face.
December 18, 2007 at 11:43 pm |
Lynn its painfull i know.. But have you ever bitten your tounge? That`s almost worse…
December 19, 2007 at 12:14 am |
mince – the most dangerous pie known to man
so tasty, and yet so deadly…
December 19, 2007 at 10:18 am |
This won’t stop you scalding your mouth apart on molten fruit tar, but it will direct you away from shabby pies:
http://www.pieclub.org.uk/
December 19, 2007 at 11:58 am |
on the subject of Breville, does anyone remember the short lived Breville pie maker ?
they should of quit while they were ahead…
December 19, 2007 at 1:42 pm |
We pestered my mum for years to get a breville maker and she eventually relented, but went one step further. She bought a four-slice breville.
My brother and I were stoned one night and decided to try it out. I don’t know what we did wrong, but we ended up with one big single breville that was four slices on each side.
A big 8 slicer! Superb. And yes we burnt fuck out of our greedy stoned mouths when we ate it too quick.
December 19, 2007 at 2:15 pm |
Lynn we’ve all been there I can totally sympathize. I remember being at a party and being told a story of how some lassie that works in an opticians in the west end cooked an egg in some microwave egg cookin thingy and when she bit in to the egg it exploded in her face givin her really bad burns for life. The reaction to this story was one of….”OH MY GOD” & “That’s awful” but me I bust a gut laffin and did the old “EGGsplosion” joke to which I was branded a sick bastard.
http://martidog.wordpress.com/
December 19, 2007 at 2:26 pm |
I had the best mince pie I’ve ever tasted last night, in the Filmhouse in Edinburgh. Lightly dusted with icing, warm rather than hot and just crumbled nicely. What’s more, it was free. Which kind of makes up for a bottle of beer costing three quid. Robbing fuckers.
Nice blog, by the way.
December 19, 2007 at 3:32 pm |
when i was at school, my pals and I would go to the local bakers for our lunch. Scotch pies being the order of the day.
We would hang about outside and at the opportune moment, we would make disgusted faces and examine our pies, like something was wrong with them. We would then ask any lassies coming out of the bakers if they had got any hair in their pies.
To which they would innocently reply “No” and we would all pish ourselves laughing.
Quite a highbrow crew I hung about with at school you know.
December 19, 2007 at 9:14 pm |
Martidog, the thought of an egg exploding in someones face is hilarious. I think I might tell that story over the Christmas holidays, thanks for the great conversation piece.
December 24, 2007 at 12:58 am |
Hiya Lynn:=) Just wanted to say merry christmas to ya :=)